bad day today.
and its only the start of the freaking day.

i found out the he was in the same train as i am. and all i saw was his back. with his signature nike sling bag and the nike shoe bag. his torn and tattered jeans. his shoulders.
he was with a girl. and constantly smiling and talking to her. oblivious that my heart was breaking.
men, all so stupid when it comes to feeling.
i'm just being bitchy. forgive me.

my legs are feeling so weak that it was not even funny. but i felt that i did a good job. i thought the weighing machine was deceiving me. but no. i lost one kg. that was until i ate choc fudge cake. it spoiled everything.
BUT. the fudge cake was heaven.

a realisation hit me. that what he said was true. i guess its a gift the he has.

he said that;
"you take very badly to critcism. go ahead and deny.
you take what people say to heart
you might act like it doesnt affect you
but like when you go home
or when you are alone
you will think
and ask yourself
"is it really true ?"
then
i think you are a pack dweller
you are confident when you are with your friends
but you lose this once you are alone and you tend to become pretty much withdrawn, that is until friends come again
so like 90% of the time you would be with friends
its just that now you're kinda in denial so you'll say no."
we'll be having this conversation soon. but i think his observations are right. but i can handle being alone. i think.

i followed you all the way. i thought that i could have gone into the same lift as him. but he went into the lab instead. which made me think that we're totally not fated.